The Queen of Firewhiskey
by MightHaveSecrets
Summary: Lily has reluctantly accepted an invitations for James Potter's Christmas party. When she arrives at his home, Lily will endure heartbreak, experience true friendship, and seek comfort from the last person she ever thought she would. Jily one-shot, set in their seventh year.


"Evans, McKinnon, you made it!" James Potter declares loudly, as she and Marlene are wiping the soot off their clothes. Sirius Black swoops in and neatly deposits a butterbeer in each of their hands.

"You've got some catching up to do," he winks. Lily sticks her tongue out at him and steps out of the Floo. She nods politely at Potter, who is grinning earnestly at her, and grabs Marlene's hand.

"Let's go find Dorcas," she says. Potter beckons them into the next room with an overdramatic bow, and despite herself, Lily chuckles at his antics. She and Marlene step through the door and stop short to take in the spectacle. Lily had never been to Potter Manor before, and it was even more stunning than she had ever imagined. The floors were made of glimmering marble, and two ornate staircases lined the sides of the room. There was a large crystal chandelier from which twinkling silver streamers hung. There were dozens of people here already, dancing, laughing, and trying to talk to each other over the loud music. Marlene points to a small group of people next to the punch bowl.

"There she is!" she shouts. Lily and Marlene push their way through the crowd, stopping briefly to exchange pleasantries with familiar faces, making their way over to Dorcas. When Dorcas catches sight of the two girls, she squeals and throws her arms around them.

"You made it!" She exclaims. Dorcas releases them and motions to the boy standing sheepishly beside her. "You remember Dirk Cresswell, don't you? He's in his sixth year."

Lily smiles and extends her hand. "Of course I do. It's nice to see you again, Dirk." Dirk shakes her hand pleasantly and they make small talk together for a few moments. At some point, Marlene wanders off to find herself another butterbeer, and Lily quickly finishes hers.

"I suppose I should try to find Bertram. He said he would be here." Lily nods at her friends and makes her way into the crowd, searching for her boyfriend's face. After a few minutes of searching, she was certain that he wasn't here, or in this room at least. She does, however, spot Potter and his three best friends in the corner engaging in some sort of drinking competition. After a moment's hesitation, she walks over to them.

"Wotcher, Evans," Remus greets her as she walks up. Potter and Black appeared to be neck in neck for the win, with Pettigrew lagging not far behind. She giggles at their antics, and turned to Remus.

"You're not competing?" she teases him. Remus just rolls his eyes and shoves another butterbeer into her hands.

"You're welcome to join them," he nudges her towards the three boys, and Lily laughs. Sirius Black has evidently emerged victorious, and he jumps onto a nearby table, declaring himself "King of the Butterbeers". Potter has noticed Lily now, and winks at her.

"Did you come to cheer me on?" He asks cheekily, placing his hand on his heart and pretending to be touched.

"You? No. I came to cheer on Black," She retorts.

"HA!" Black exclaims. He jumps down from the table and throws an arm around her. "I knew you'd come around eventually, dear." Lily takes a long swig of her drink and asks,

"Speaking of which, have any of you seen Bertram?" Black rolls his eyes but she pretends not to notice.

"I think he went upstairs to get something to drink," Pettigrew volunteers. She nods gratefully and ducks out from Black's arm.

"I'll show you!" Potter blurts. Lily examines him for a moment, decides he seems unusually sheepish and not about to play a prank on her, and shrugs.

"Ok. Lead the way, Potter." Lily follows him as he leads her to one of the beautiful staircases. Lily pauses to admire the banister, which was smooth and polished and made of mahogany.

"Are you coming?" Potter asks, and Lily straightens, flushes.

"Yes, sorry." She says. Potter chuckles under his breath and they make their way upstairs. The stairs led into a hallway with a surprising amount of doors.

"Just how big is this place, anyway?" Lily asks, sipping her butterbeer. Potter shrugs.

"It's been in the family for forever." he replies, neatly avoiding the question. She follows him to the end of the hall and into a small kitchen. Bottles of butterbeer cover the counters, along with assorted snacks and a few bottle of firewhiskey. Potter grabs a butterbeer, opens it and takes a swig.

"Odd. I saw him come up here not too long ago," he says to Lily.

"Maybe he went back downstairs," Lily suggested. Potter looks her pensively in the eye.

"Yeah, maybe," he replies. Lily thinks he is holding something back, but Potter follows her silently back into the hallway. A small thud catches Lily's attention, however, as she's passing one of the doors. She stops in front of the door and reaches for the doorknob, ignoring Potter's warning, and swings open the door.

"Bertram?" she calls, stepping into the room. It's an office, clearly, and Lily would have probably admired the rows of books and the beautiful wooden desk, if it weren't for her boyfriend whipping around and guiltily smoothing his shirt. Behind him, she recognizes one of the seventh year Ravenclaw girls sitting on the desk, obviously ruffled from what appeared to be a very intense snogging session. Absent mindedly, Lily notices they'd knocked a thick book off the desk.

"Nice." Lily chokes, eyes watering. She promptly turns around and marches back out of the room. She pushes past Potter, ignoring his protests, and quickly makes her way down the stairs. Wiping at her eyes, she hears the muffled sounds of an argument upstairs, but she ignores it and continues to make her way blindly towards the back of the room. Unfortunately for her, she runs smack into Sirius Black, who was balancing a large stack of chocolate frogs on his head. They clatter to the ground, and he turns to her, appalled.

"Oi! I was in the middle of - Evans? What's wrong?" His outrage morphs quickly into concern as tears begin to make their way down Lily's cheeks. She shakes her head and tries to push past him. He grabs her by the arms and maneuvers her into a nearby sitting room, shooing away the couple engaged in deep conversation. Marlene and Remus have noticed the commotion, and now crouch beside Lily who is beginning to cry.

"Lily?" Marlene brushes Lily's hair out of her face tenderly. "Lily what happened?" Potter burst into the room quite loudly, startling them all. His face was quite red and Lily could see through her tears that his hair was even messier than before, as if he'd been running his fingers through it aggressively.

"Aubrey's a bloody twat, that's what happened!" He exclaims, aggravated.

"What did Bertram do?" Marlene asks Lily, wiping the tears of Lily's face. Lily looks at her friend's concerned expression, but when she tries to explain, all that comes out is an embarrassing sob. She looks up at Potter, motioning to him desperately.

"He was upstairs snogging Kamilla Pickerton, that's what he was doing! Bloody idiot… I've kicked them both out." Potter explained for her, gesturing wildly. Her friends all express their shock, and their condolences, but Lily resigns herself to staring forlornly into her clasped hands. The couch dips as Remus sits beside her gingerly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What can we do, Lily?" He asks quietly. Lily sniffles, looking first at Remus and then to Black, who is leaning against the door watching them with intrigue.

"You can get me a stronger drink," she says to him.

Nearly an hour later, Lily has drunk more than her fair share of firewhiskey, and her friends have done a strapping job in distracting her. She currently found herself riding atop of Black's shoulders, having been declared the Firewhiskey Queen, trying not to spill her drink all over herself. Lily feels honoured, really, that these people would all band together like this just to cheer her up. She's nearly forgotten all about the ordeal with Bertram altogether, but she feels a pang in her chest as she realizes that he didn't even try to chase after her. She didn't have time to think too deeply about it, however, as Black suddenly loses his balence and she topples backwards off his shoulder. She lands safely in a pair of strong arms, although she does slosh her drink all over her front.

"Easy there, Evans," Potter chuckles as he rights her on the floor. His hands linger a moment on her waist, then he ruffles her hair affectionately. Lily looks down at her now ruined sweater, amused.

"Whoops," she giggles. Potter tugs on her sleeve, swaying slightly.

"Come on, you can borrow one of mine." He says, leading her away from the crowd. They make their way up the stairs and Potter leads her down that same hallway as earlier. Lily gives the office door a scathing glare as they pass, hoping it'll make her feel better. It doesn't.

Now that Lily is away from the crowd and the festivities, the gravity of tonight hits her full force again. She really liked Bertram. He was kind, and thoughtful, and (she thought) he liked her. Were there warning signs that she missed? Perhaps he'd been unhappy all along, and she had been so caught up in their whirlwind romance that she hadn't even noticed. Had he cared for at all?

Lily's emotional spiral is interrupted when Potter stops suddenly, causing her to bump into him. She seemed to be making a habit of that, lately.

"This is.. uh.. my room," Potter mumbles, suddenly unable to look her in the eye. He opens the door and she follows him in. Potter's room is… not what she expected. It's surprisingly muted, with dark wood furniture and a red comforter laid neatly on the four poster bed. Potter beelines for an armoire in the corner of the room and begins rooting through it as Lily sits herself on his bed.

 _I am sitting on James Potter's bed,_ she thought to herself as she sipped on her drink. It was a cruel twist of fate that Lily found herself in James Potter's room, sans boyfriend, instead of enjoying the party with Bertram like she'd hoped. It was here, away from the commotion downstairs, that Lily really allowed herself to process what had happened that evening. Had she really been so naive? She really believed that Bertram had cared for her. And yet..

Lily can feel her eyes welling up with tears again. She hastily wipes them away as Potter comes over to her with a long sleeve shirt. He gives it to her and turns around, covering his eyes. Lily quickly pulls her ruined sweater over her head, frizzing her hair no doubt, and pulls the shirt over her head. It's a bit too big, but it's warm and comfortable. She realizes with a start that this is one of Potter's quidditch jerseys, and his name is no doubt embroidered on the back.

"I'm decent," she says to him. He turns around, and he fixes her with a long, unreadable stare. He seems to take her in, wearing his shirt, and Lily flushes slightly at his attention. Potter snaps out of whatever daze he was in and sits next to her on the bed. He reaches his hand out, presumably to place it on top of hers, but seems to think better of it and folds his hands in his lap.

"So, Evans, are you okay? I know you say you're okay, but if you want to, you know, talk about it… I'm always willing to listen.." He rambles. Lily try to smile at him, but it comes out as more of a grimace. She sighs.

"It's just.. I'm not sure what I did wrong," she begins, starting when Potter leaps up and cries,

"What _you_ did wrong? Lily, you did nothing wrong!" He paces back and forth in front of her. "I'm sorry. I just.. Bertram Aubrey is a bloody daft… he had _you_ and he...it's just so frustrating for me.." he continues, running his hand through his hair. Lily stood to face him, face flushing with anger (and perhaps with firewhiskey).

"Frustrating for you? I'm the one who can't keep a boy around! Bertram could have asked me to snog him in the upstairs office, but he wanted to snog Kamilla Pickerton!" Lily can feel tears streaming down her face now, but she continues, drunk and feeling dejected. "He didn't want to kiss me, he wanted to kiss somebody else. Anybody else! Maybe he hated kissing me, or maybe he only felt badly for me -" Potter scoffed, interrupting her tirade.

"Felt badly for you? You're Head Girl, for crying out loud. You're smart, and beautiful, and any man would be lucky to kiss you!" He exclaimed. Lily shook her head, wiping her tears.

"You're just saying that because you think you should," she mumbled. "If I was such a catch, Bertram would have never needed to kiss another girl. I doubt any bloke will ever kiss me ever again!" Lily knew she was being overly dramatic, but between the alcohol and the fresh heartbreak she wasn't feeling rational. A wave of fresh tears erupted and she sat back down on the bed, spilling a little bit of her drink on the wooden floor. Potter says nothing for a long time. Lily can feel his stillness even as she covers her face with her free hand, blocking his intense gaze from her sight. After a long, quiet moment, Potter breaks the silence.

"I will." He says resolutely. Lily scoffs, looking up at him.

"Don't be daft, Potter," she replies. He runs his hand through his hair, agitated.

"I'm being serious!" He insists. "You think no one will ever kiss you again? Well I'll show you that Bertram is a bloody idiot." He steps towards her, eyes insistent. "You say the word, Lily Evans, and I'll kiss your bloody brains out."

Lily doesn't know what to say. This was _James Bloody Potter_ for Merlin's sake. It's a testament to how crazy of a night this had become that Lily was even considering Potter's offer. She meets his eyes, and they're glassy, but earnest. _He really wants to do it_ , Lily realizes. She knows it's a terrible idea. They're too drunk, he's too close, and his hazel eyes are filled with an intensity that scares her. Despite every rational part of her brain telling her to stop whatever this was, Lily raises her glass to her lips, downs the rest of whatever bitter alcohol Black had filled it with, and stands to meet Potter's gaze.

"Do it," she says. There's a beat; a short, uncertain pause. Then Potter closes the distance between them and presses his lips firmly to hers. She responds immediately, surprising herself with her eagerness. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined. Potter's hands slip down the curve of her waist as he draws her closer to him, and she finds her hand twisting into his impossibly silky hair. _He tastes of firewhiskey_ , she thinks absentmindedly to herself, as Potter kisses her fervently. They are flush against each other, and Lily's whole body feels as though it's electric. She gasps when she feels his tongue brush against her lips, and she surprises herself again with the intensity with which she returns the kiss. She can feel his hands on the bare skin of her back, slipping under her shirt and pulling her into his chest.

Loudly, and without warning, a sharp crash from downstairs breaks the spell and they abruptly pull away from each other. They stand, staring into each other's eyes for a brief moment. Lily can feel her heart pounding, and she's not certain she quite understands what's happened. Potter is staring at her like he's not quite sure she's real, his hazel eyes with vast, unspeakable emotion. Lily clears her throat, and steps past him.

"We should.." she begins, smoothing down her shirt.

"Downstairs." he agrees. He leans down to pick up the empty cup she hadn't realized she'd dropped. Lily averts her gaze when his shirt rides up slightly, flushing crimson. She makes her way to the door, willing her face to return to its regular complexion

"Lily?" Potter calls, "Are you okay?" Lily pauses in the doorway, resting her hand on the frame. She turns to face him, and flashes him a small smile.

"I will be," she replies, and his resounding grin makes her truly believe it.


End file.
